First

I dedicate my first article to my friend who is constantly "nagging" me to start writing my articles... ;)

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival
value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
C.S. Lewis

I have read the above quote recently and it made me think. Living in a foreign country for 7 years C.S. Lewis' words make perfect sense to me.

When I moved to South Africa I left all of my family and friends behind. Today's technology makes it easy to keep contact with your loved ones and friends but it can not substitute the need to surround yourself with "blood and flesh" people. Phone calls and emails can not give you the same fulfillment then it would be sharing something personally with others.

It is interesting to think back how I built my friendships in the past few years. I have gone through the same process then one goes through from childhood to adulthood, gradually maturing in quality, expectations and meaning of friendships.

At first I was so much in need of people around me that I called about anyone and everyone my friend that was nice to me. Then I started to narrow my "circle of friends" to those I actually enjoyed being with and I found something common with. I connect to people easily but I do not open up to them easily. It took really long time to find "real" friends. My definition of real friend is a person I can be completely intimate with, sharing my inner most thoughts, completely trust in and have the need to give as much as I receive in the relationship.

Recently I was very fortunate to meet someone I can call a "real" friend. They say it is very difficult to build meaningful friendships in adulthood as most of us are already in marriages or other serious relationships, there are children, jobs and many other factors that takes up most of our time. Some people are very lucky to have friends from their childhood but in today's world we "move around" too much and it is almost impossible to keep those early relationships as close as they got used to be. Most of us are "out there" constantly seeking for friends. Some of us never find true friendship some of us have many.

I had to wait 35 years to find the kind of friendship I always was looking for and what I never experienced before. It is truly an amazing feeling when you can talk to someone openly about anything and everything without the "fear" that the other judging you or laughing at you. It is a truly nice feeling that the other is just as "keen" on maintaining the relationship as you do. It is a wonderful feeling to help the other to learn more about himself and you also learn more about yourself.

I hope this friendship will last long and it will become even stronger with time. It necessarily will change over time as it matures but this is the exciting part of it. I know that from my side I will do everything to keep this relationship alive as long as I feel that my friend needs me and that I can give him something to make his life better.

Ian, thanks to be my friend. Happy birthday!!!